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BearCY's guide – in the simplest way – on how to perform correct pronunciation of the 29 letters in the Norwegian alphabet and more easily get understood by a Norwegian, seen from an English point of view.

bearcy.no Please click to get to the top of this page.

I'm awfully embarrassed that this document was so badly made, and sad that I didn't get any feedback about it, and discovered it coincidently only now. I have now fixed all links, so that they function flawlessly.

Her er en merkelig krukelure-fyr som jeg har sett noen videoer av på Instagram og TikTok. Jeg har aldri kommunisert med ham direkte og er bare intellektuelt interessert i å forklare norsk uttale for ham, sånn at også han forstår det. Han kommer fra et engelsktalende land og studerer visst i Norge, også norsk:


Here's a funny guy I've seen some videos by on Instagram and TikTok. I've never communicated with him dicrectly and am only intellectually interested in explaining Norwegian pronunciation to him, so that also he gets it, and may learn something useful from his obvious mistakes. He's from an English speaking country and study in Norway, seemingly/hopefully also Norwegian:

Since you already know how to pronounce the vowels; EA, U, E, and O, as a perfect well-pronounced Norwegian Ø-sound in both"LEARNing, "CURTesy", "PERFect",
and "WORD", how come or why then, does it seem so incomprehensibly difficult for you to utilise the same vowel in «høflighet»? (Which the Norwegian word for curtesy.)


Instead; in your video linked to below, you pronounce the Ø in høflighet as an "OO" or an "UH" or something unintelligible?

From a Norwegian point of view, this seems weirdly illogical and rather strange to me.

Please do have a look at the comments and explanations below this post, to more easily associate with my explanations below. Then you may see how Norweigan pronunciation actually is far more direct and simple to learn than English.

I've sent a far less developed version to you as a private message on Facebook Messenger a long time ago, but I see that you for some reason have yet to read it.

Here's the link to the video that I commented to above, on Instagram:
(I've unfortunately had to delete this link, due to failure to get in contact with the target to ask for his permission. And I didn't get to know directly, either, only indirectly by losing access to my Instagram-account; without even Meta ever telling me why. I had to use some years and weeks to figure it all out. Meta hasn't got any customer service that could have explained it to me and enlightened me of what to do. Instead they only use mindless robots that failed to come across with inexplicably bad translated and incomprehensible explanations on how to get my account back, and what I've done to deserve the reaction or what to do and how to fix it. To an XXY-autist like me, that needs to get everything in with a tea-spoon to understand anything, this has obviously failed.)

It now seems to me in this case like I have let myself become a victim of my idea's target's fear:
https://bearcy.no/thought.html#projection

But I still fail to see how to procede, beyond doing what I did above, by deleting the offending link.
Of course I am sorry for not figuring it out before now. But I'm no mind reader, unfortunately.
And am dependent upon detailed direct messages about everything, to comprehend.
I'm nothing to fear and am far too busy with my life already to have time to spy on anyone.

Respectfully, Bjørn (pronounced b-yearn, meaning a bear), living at Romsås (pronounced room-sauce, meaning gypsy's hill) in Oslo (pronounced oosloo, meaning meadow of the dieties).

Hei!

Jeg har latt meg inspirere av språkvideoene dine på Facebook, Instagram og TikTok, til å revidere, pynte på og skrive denne listen og kom på å sende deg en nyrevisjon av et innlegg som jeg publiserte i tidslinja mi på Facebook, den 6. desember i 2021 til en annen anledning uavhengig av deg. Bare for moro: Men siden jeg etter noe tid oppdaget at den imidlertid hadde medført såvidt mye arbeid, så tenkte jeg det var best å dele den her, slik at enda flere kan tilegne seg glede av den. Jeg har nok oppdatert og pyntet på den noe mer siden da; også med bokmerker og linker, ettersom det rett som det er dukker opp flere assosiasjoner til ting å tilføye. Dette er ikke noe som jeg dveler ved kontinuerlig, bare når det faller meg inn, i det minste for meg tilsynelatende helt tilfeldig, samt når jeg orker og har overskudd til det:

(Dette dokumentet har blitt vurdert av en leser å være «en ubehagelig forvirrende idé» og kan for enkelte ta noe tid eller flere gjennomlesninger å fordøye. For andre kan den til og med synes å være hysterisk morsom. Og for andre igjen, bare kjedelig tøv. Føl deg fri til å gjøre deg opp din egen mening.)


I have since then lost my access to my Instagram profile, and have failed to get it back, due to not managing to interpret their manual on how to accomplish it correctly. So it's obviously not written with autists on the spectrum like me in mind, who just read what it says and lack the ability to fill in any blanks.

However, since it entailed as much work as it did, I thought it best not to waste it, but to share it here, so that even more people may benefit from its insight:

(This document has been characterised by a reader to be "a mind-f*ck" and may by some people take some time and effort or several rereads to digest. For others it may even seem hysterical funny. And yet for others, just as silly garbage. Please feel free to make up your own mind about it.)

The Norwegian 29 letter alphabet's pronunciation explanation in English:

.

A in Norwegian is only being pronounced as a stand-alone R or like the A-s in ASS CAN'T FART, BAR, FAR, JAR, MASK, STAR and TAR,
or like the first A in BARBARIC, the first part of the diftoned I in CLIMB, LINE, PINE, SPINE, and WiNE, the O in ABOUT and the OU in COURAGE, like the O in JOHN, the first O-s in JOHNSON and LONDON (while their last O-s are being pronounced like a Norwegian E), and in Texan pronounced DOLLAR (where the A in English is being pronounced like a Norwegian E).
The Nowegian word «tak»; which means "roof" in English, is being pronounced with the long A in the English pronounced word MASK or maybe more similar to the also here (not the UK-English, which pronounces it like chauk or tauk! But a) Texan US-English pronounciated with a silently rendered L in words like "CHALK" or "TALK"?,
while «takk»; which may mean "thanks" or "thank you", is being pronounced with the short U-s in BUS, BUZZ, F*CK, FUSS, and PUSS, and and have got an eirie similarity with the also Texan US-English pronunciation of the name mr. TUCK. Like the name "Tucker Carlson" pronounced in this dialect, would have had to be spelled like "Takker Karls'n" for a native Norwegian analphabet in English to pronounce it correctly, like the guy pronounces his name, himself.
The name "Donald John Trump" would in Norwegian similarly have had to be spelled like: «Dan'ld Dzjan Tramp».


B is being pronounced like the B-s in BEAR, BANANA, and BARBARIC.
Never like a V; like they do in Spanish (and did in Latin), which makes Spanish speaking people really difficult to understand while speaking Norwegian and subconsciously keeping this speech impediment sometimes; since we in our language have got surprisingly many otherwise similarly pronounced words that mean totally different things when being pronounced with either a B or a V, which sometimes even end up resulting in long lasting bitter cultural conflicts.
Isn't it weird how fear always ends up escalating things to end up getting seemingly unforgivably evil and out of hand?


C; like in English, is being pronounced like an S without using the vocal cords; whenever it's in front of not only an E, I, and a Y, but also in front of an Æ or an Ä (which is actually a Swedish- or German spelled Æ, with almost the same rules of pronunciation), and like a K when it's in front of any other letter or space. (Cæsar is being pronounced like sésar with Norwegian pronounced Ss, E, A, and R.)

D is being pronounced like the D-s in DAVID. When D is written in front of a J, the D is rendered unpronounced and silent, and the J pronounced as explained below. When D is written in front of a T, the D is also rendered silent, and the word being pronounced as with a short vowel and a double following consonant, as in «godt»; which means "good" in English, and in Norwegian is being pronounced like «gått» or like "gaut" would have been pronounced in English, even if this particular word doesn't have any logical meaning in English that I am aware of.

E is being pronounced like the A-s in DOLLAR, mr. IAN and in YEAR, and like all the E-s in BEEN, BEN, BENDED BELLS, BETTER DECKS, DENTED EGGS, MEN, SHELLS, and WOMEN. Also like the second or last O-s in English pronounciated JOHNSON and LONDON (while their first O-s are being pronounced like a Norwegian A).
In some special words (just to make this language extra confusing!) like the first E in «gjerde», which means "fence" and in «jern»; which means "iron" and "sperm"; which has got the same meaning in English (although in English being pronounced like a Norwegian Ø), all these E-s are in Norwegian being pronounced like a Norwegian normally pronounced Æ.


F is only being pronounced like the F-s in FABOLOUS, F*CK OFF, like the GH-s in LAUGH and COUGH or the PH-s; like in PHALLOS, PHANTOM, PHILOSOPHY or PHOTOGRAPHY. F is never being pronounced like a Norwegian V, like we are used to prounouce it in English as in «of» like in «of course».

G is mainly being pronounced like the G-s in the English pronounced words GET, GOD and GOOD.
In conjunction with a J, as in «GJENganger» and «GJERde», the G is rendered silent, and the J is being pronounced like an English pronounced Y.
In conjunction with any N; as in «gagn» and «gang», it is being pronounced like the NG is being pronounced in the word "ENGLISH". (Although «gagn» is being pronounced like Texan American spelled "GONG'N" with an additional N at the end. As the Norwegian word «gagn» only means "what's being good for you", while the word «gang»; depending on its use, may mean "way of walking", "succession", "moment in time" "corridor" or "entrance".)

H is only being pronounced like the H-s in laughter written like HA-HA-HA!, HE-HE-HE!, HI-HI-HI!, HO-HO-HO!, HU-HU-HU, HY-HY-HY!, and in English words like HAM, HAVE, HAVENS, HAWK, HORRIBLE, et cetera.
«Heyerdahl» is a Norwegian family name with many rather famous members. This name would, however in US-Engilsh, have had to be spelled like "HYERDOL"; to mistakenly and involuntarily by native English thinking people stumble upon acquiring the name's correct Norwegian pronunciation, without even realising it. (As heard pronounced by several differenet vocies in the Babylon5 S02E15 «And Now for a Word», in a sentence beginning from 1m42s into the episode, as the name of a shuttle craft or a transport vessel of some sort, transporting the Inter Stellar Network News (ISN) to Babylon5 for their first survey report.) I wonder why this series was removed from the streaming services right after I first posted this document? Just to bother me?


I is being pronounced like the A in COURAGE, like the E in to BE, like the I-s in FISH, mr. IAN, IT, and MAGAZINE, like the the EA-s in mr. BEAN and SEA, the EE-s in to PEE (or WEE?) and to SEE and SEEN, like the E-s in FECES, HE, SHE, and WE, or like the O in WOMEN (!).
For a Norwegian thinking reader with no Texan English experience to pronounce "God's people" correctly, it would have had to be spelled: «Gads pipel». To pronounce it correctly in Australian- or British English, it would have had to be spelled: «Gådds pipel».

J is mainly being pronounced just like an English Y. So just swap them in your mind while reading. (My family name, "Jespersen", is for example being pronounced by any Norwegian, Dane or Swede, like YÉSPÉSH'N, with the E-s pronounced like explained above.) J written in conjunction with an S as in «sjø»; which means "sea", is being pronounced like the SH and the Ø like explained below. J in conjunction with a K is being explained below. J in conjunction with an S and a K, as in «skjære», which; depending upon context, may mean to "cut" or a "magpie", is being pronounced with a SH and an A like in MAN, a rolling R, and an E like the first ones in MESMERISE at the end.

K is being pronounced like a K. Except when written alone in front of a J. Then the combination is being pronounced like the CH-part of the German words ICH and DICH; pronounced by a native German, which means I and thine (It becomes simpler to pronounce this sound correctly when whispering while pronouncing my family name. When you as loudly as possible whisper the English word YES, the first sound is similar to the Norwegian KJ-sound.)

L is being pronounced like three different L-s. Not just two like in English. Firstly like the L in clue, secondly like the L in Paul, and thirdly like the thick, sort of "RD"-sounding L, pronounced by some Pakistani- or East-Indian people; with the tongue tip rolling outward.

M is being pronounced like all the M-s in MAINSTREAM MEDIA.

N is being pronounced like the N-s in BAND and NEWS. Except when in conjunction with a G; as explained above. Whenever written following a K, both consonants are to be pronounced out loud equally. There are no silent Ks in Norwegian, except when written following an S or followed by a J; as being explained above.

O is being pronounced like the OO-s in "king's English" COOL, GOOD, POOL, STOOLS and TOOLS, whenever followed by a single consonant or space. Whenever followed by a double consonant, it is however being pronounced like an Å. As always, there are local dialectic exceptions to this rule.

P is being pronounced like the P-s in Paradise and Paul, even when it's being written in front of an H; like in the name «Aspheim»; which means "aspen home", like in the tree species. The A in Aspheim is being pronounced like the A-s in king's English pronounced ASS CAN'T FART or CRAFT. The E in Aspheim starts out as being pronounced like a Norwegian pronounced Æ, merging in difton with the I. The H is being pronounced as distinctly as the Hs in "ASP-HEIM" "TRUMP-HOME" or "PLUMP-HONEY". In other words; quite a confusing trap, that name, Aspheim. Also for German speaking people, who seemingly automatically pronounce it like king Charles would have pronounced the word, "ASS-FYME". (Which is why we term his vernacular "king's English" today.)
But whenever a P is written in front of an S; in foreign words like «psykologi» (meaning "psychology"), it's being rendered silent and is not to be pronounced at all. Seemingly just like magic.

Q is only being pronounced like a K in Norwegian.

R is in the north part, in the Capital, and in the east part of Norway, being pronounced like the Rs of Italy, Spain, southern France, and southern Germany. While in the west and south parts of Norway, it is mainly being pronounced like the Rs of Paris and Berlin; due to a speech impeechment by a French royal a couple of centuries ago, that became popularised by the most terrified of making a fool out of themselves, so that they in this manner deprived themselves of any other consequence.
Whenever an R is written in front of a D, it is being pronounced like a thick (East-Indian?) L, where the tongue is rolling outwards instead of inwards or standing still.
Whenever an R is written in front of an S, the combination is usually being pronounced like a SH.


S is never being pronounced like an English Z; but like an English C before an E, I or Y, without the vocal cords.
Whenever an S is written in front of a J or a KJ, the combination is being pronounced like a SH.
Sometimes when S is written in front of an L; like in the Norwegian word, «slag» (a "blow"), «slegge» (a "sledge hammer") or «slå» (to "hit"), this combination is on the east side of Norway being pronounced like "SHLAU" would have been pronounced in English, if it meant anything. On the south- and west side of Norway; however, they usually pronounce the S and L separately, like in English, and with no SH-sound.

(Which is why the uneducated part of the Norwegian population tend to mispronounce the name of their capital like "ooshrdoo" instead of "oosloo"; like the origin of the name demands, since it actually consists of two separate words. It is derived from the Viking old Norwegian or Norse words «ås»; which in this case means a hill or the "gods" and «lo», which means a "meadow". Which is why the name Oslo originally means "meadow of the gods". Later fabulations of the capital's name's origin tells us that it comes from the seeped (which in Norwegian is spelled like «os» and is pronounced like "oos") in the «Lo»-river; pronounced just like an English "loo". And even that explanation would prevent the SL in Oslo to be pronounced like SHRD. When the Germans heard that we would rename our capital city from Kristiania to Oslo from January the 1st in 1925, however, they couldn't believe their ears: In German Oslo is namely being pronounced just like the native pronouncication of the German word that means "asshole".)


T is always being pronounced like a T, except when written in front of a J. Then it's being pronounced like the Norwegian KJ-sound, which is being explained above.

U is being pronounced like the E in DEW, the U in SUPERB or like the OO in LIVERPOOL; as it's being pronounced by one of its native urchins.
Whenever being written before a double consonant, it is however being pronounced in Norwegian like an O. With dialectic exceptions.
The Norwegian word DU, which means thou (or singular you), is being pronounced just like DEW is being pronounced in English.

V is being pronounced like the F in OF COURSE and like the V in VICTORY; although in some German names; like Vogts gate (bailiff's [in German] street [in Norwegian]) and Vaterland (pronounced "fàterlànd" which is German and meaning a sort of upside-down "male gendered" motherland), it's only being pronounced like an F or like the "PH" in English, as in phantom, phallos, phantom, or  philosophy in German, never in native Norwegian.
(The German name VolksWagen is similarly both to be pronounced and have a similar meaning in English like "folk's wagon" with a rather strange emphasis on the L or "folk's-vàg'n, with a long open A like in the English word "MASK", and a short unemphasised E, pronounced like in the English word "END" at the end. "Folk's" is being pronounced with an emphasised, and a far more pronounced L, than in English, where it is rendered almost silent.)

W; as in German, is only being pronounced like the Norwegian pronunciation of the single V.

X is being pronounced like "KS". or like "CC" in "access" or "CS", since C is only being pronounced as an S in front of an E, I, Y, Æ, and Ä.
In some words, like xylofón; which means xylophone, the X is only being pronounced like an S without the vocal cords.

Y is being pronounced like an EE while shaping your lips like when you're pronouncing an OO. Somewhat difficult to explain. Almost like a Ü being pronounced by a native German, or like the French word UNE by a native Frenchman.

Z is like the S usually being pronounced like an English C in front of an E, I, or a Y; without the vocal cords.

Æ is being pronounced like the A-s in AS, BAG, BAN, CAN, FAN, MAD MAN, AND SPAM. And like the E in TERRor.
In some words, like Cæsar; which means emperor, and sæd; which means semen, is however being pronounced like the E in END.
The second A in the word barBARic" is pronounced in English like a Norwegian Æ-sound. (For an English iliterate Norwegian to pronounce this word correctly in English, it would have had to be spelled like "BA-BÆRRIK".)
The name "Kamala Devi Harris" would; to be prounounced correctly by an English illiterate Norwegian, have had to be spelled like: «Kam'la Déivi Hærris».

Ä is just a Swedish or German spelled Æ, but they do mainoy have the same or similar rules of pronunciation. Æ is spelled in the English- and -French languages as an AE, which is why I have selected this replacement for the Æ in the bookmark links settings, to keep my site world wide compatible, not expecting everyone to know how to produce Danish- and Norwegian special wowel letters.

Ø is concistently being pronounced like the EA-s in EARN, LEARN and to YEARN; like the E-s in CERTainly HER, JERK, MERCK and suPERB; like the I-s in FIRM, FIRST, and SIR, like the O-s in WORD, WORK, and WORLD; like the OU in JOURNey; or like the U-s in BURN, CHURN, CURtain, CURtesy, FUR, TURN and URN.
Ö is just a Finish, Swedish or German spelled Danish and Norwegian Ø, but they do mainly have the same- or similar rules of pronunciation. Ø is spelled in the English and French languages as an OE (or an Œ), which is why I have selected OE as a replacement for the Ø in the English alphabet only bookmark links settings, to keep my site world wide compatible, not expecting everyone to know how to produce Danish- and Norwegian special wowel letters.


Å is being pronounced like the A-s in HAWK and WAR, like the AU-s in PAUL, SAUCE, and in of CAUSE, like the EA in master SEAN, like the O-s in CONNER, GOD, the first O in HORROR, and in British and Australian pronounced DOLLAR, or like the OU-s in both of- and off COURSE and SOURCE.
For a Norwegian English analphabet to pronounce the name "Joseph Robinette Biden junior" correctly, it would have had to be spelled «Dzjøuzeff Råbinett Baid'n dzjunia». Å was in the olden days being spelled in Danish as a double-A, which is why I have selected this replacement for the Å in the bookmark links settings, to keep my site world wide compatible, not expecting everyone to know how to produce Danish- and Norwegian special wowel letters.


.

As an example on how difficult English may be to learn and how inconsistently its letters are being pronounced, here is a constructed word by a an individual with English as their second language; GHOTI, which is being explained how it is to be pronounced like FISH in this rather strange manner:

F as in GH from LAUGH or CAUGH
I as in O from WOMEN (!)
SH as in TI from STATION or FacinaTIon

I suspect that this kind of dry joke; which doesn't follow any common rules of English pronunciation, only might seem funny to people who hasn't got English as their native mother tongue or primary language?

To Norwegian speaking people the story about Odd Grythe who hosted a TV-show when I was younger, called «Husker du?» ("Do you remember?") with his friend Ivar Ruste, and they were having a visit by the English singer Vera Lynn. But the weather wasn't agreeable, so they came late to the directly sent show. But when they excused themselves about not being used to our Norwegian slippery winter roads, Odd Grythe blurted out with: "But, but, but, but didn't you have pigs in your decks?" What he meant to ask was; "didn't you have nails in your tyres?", but he just "Englified" the Norwegian words for it which is «pigger i dekkene», so that Vera Lynn had to have it all explained by Ivar Ruste, which was also surprisingly funny listening to for a weirdo geek like me.


Respectfully, Bjørn (pronounced "b-yearn"; the name meaning an animal bear, while incarnating a twink body that doesn't fit the description), living at Romsås (pronounced "room-sauce", meaning "gypsy's hill" or "gypsy's spirit-god"). According to the experiences and testimonials of the locals who have lived at Romsås since the 1970s,has to them been the best, safest and most generally carefree place to live; where even the (today mostly black and surprisingly consistently well behaved Muslim) sweet and helpful youth gangs, who just seem to adore feeling useful in relation to everyone. On some futuristic philosophical hunt for safe and pleasant karma, perhaps? But at the same time, Romsås has for some (possibly only commercial?) reasons, simultaneously always been portrayed in the mainstream media as a "most infamous, terrifying place that readers and listeners are adviced never to dare visiting". Maybe that's the real reason to why it's so somewhat rural and quiet here?

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